Thursday, November 5, 2009

July through February.

Some people would call these six months the dog days of summer, autumn and the lion of winter. I call them the loneliest months of the year! Football season! AAAARRGGGHH!!!

It’s when pork rinds become a staple in the pantry like chicken is in the refrigerator. When the bedroom turns into the Pentagon as the computer, radio and television are crackling and running stats in one synchronized flow. It’s when communication with the husband deteriorates to grunts unless you’re offering more afore-mentioned pork rinds. It’s when nookie is squeezed into 2 minute warning commercials and half-time…unless it’s the Superbowl.

Football, oh how I detest thee…

That is until two years ago when I discovered the Pittsburg Steelers. Or more accurately Troy Polamalu, the Steelers’ uh…umm…well, his position isn’t important.
I mean, have you seen his hair??


One fateful Sunday night two years ago I decided to be self-sacrificing and long-suffering and sit through a football game. And who should I see busting across the screen but a strong, authoritative, no-holds-barred player who destroyed everyone in his path! Oh and did I mention how his dark, wavy mane of hair just poured out the back of his helmet?
I was entranced by his presence, his talent, his confidence…

And the way his dark curly locks hit the middle of his back.

I soon discovered that this bastion of Gridiron superiority was Troy Polamalu. Of Samoan descent, he is a hard-hitting…uh…err…like I said the position isn’t important. His speed, agility and dark beauty reminds me of a panther, sleek and dangerous. How one can be so terrifying on the football field and then such a soft-spoken gentleman off the field is endearing and hero-worthy. What woman doesn’t love an aggressive and dominant man who can still be gentle when—and where—it counts? And when he removes his helmet …Hallelujah!! Hosannas break out! The man is beautiful in a little-grass-shack-in-Hawaii-save-the-virgin-from-the-roaring-volcano way. (Please cut the snickering. I never said I was the virgin!)

Needless to say, my husband and I spend quality time together every Sunday between July and February…well, except when the Steelers have a by-week…Anyhoo, because you are a sexy gentle giant with gorgeous locks and you bridged the communication gap between husband and wife, Troy Polamalu, you are…Hawtie of the Month!