Tuesday, September 25, 2012

I Would Do Anything to Write But I Won’t Do That…Yeah, I Would

These days you can’t turn on the television without some kind of campaign commercial. Vote for me. Don’t vote for that guy. He’s a crook. He’s a nudist, I mean, communist. Blah, blah, blah. And it’s only going to get worse in the next two months. Yaay!
One of the main issues for the candidates is employment. Of course this topic concerns all of us. I mean, who here often has more month than money? *raising hand high and waving madly* Especially authors. The amounts of our royalty checks fluctuate, the work we put in often far outweighs the money we received. Add to that piracy and it can be frustrating…sometimes discouraging. Freakin’ depressing...

Enter moi. I’m not going to blog about the state of the economy or how hard it is to make ends meet. Authors are no strangers to hard work. I’ve heard people talk about actors sacrificing for their art, but authors are the biggest sacrificial lambs I know! Which started me thinking…what exactly have we done in the past to earn a check? To make ends meet? To draw the 30th just a wee bit closer?

I remember in college, I donated plasma for cash. They gave me $45.00, a honey bun and orange juice. And I gave the honey bun and orange juice right back to them as soon as I came to from the dead faint outside the clinic. I won’t name any names—for I don’t know if the statutory limit has expired—but a certain person who used to work at McDonald’s would bring food back to his dorm after closing and sell the leftovers to hungry college students…

So I polled my fellow authors and asked them to divulge some of the weirdest/craziest/most desperate jobs they ever had. And boy did they DIVULGE!! LOL! Here goes:

dalton diaz

“I sold flowers on street corners in a bikini in So Cal! Yeah, that was a few kids ago...A former coworker saw me and thought I'd joined a cult. Freaking hilarious!”—Dalton Diaz

Cindy Spencer Pape

“I actually did the blood thing too, in grad school. The worst though had to have been a legitimate temp job when I worked for an agency. I had to spend one day as a dressing assistant at a fashion show. Shudder. That was such a PIA on so many levels.”—Cindy Spencer Pape

Sidney Bristol

“I got drafted at an audio gig I was working to help dress for a huge cirque stage performance. There were literally moments where a hot, buff, arrogant ass would walk up to me, hold out his arms and I would have to unzip him and physically undress him down to his flesh colored man-thong and redress him because they were too "in character" to dress themselves. So disgusting.”—Sidney Bristol

“The summer I worked for a diaper service. People actually had to count the soiled diapers that came in to know how many clean diapers to pack for the next order. Happy to say I wasn't a diaper counter--got to work in the office.”—Mardi Ballou

Marcia James
“Worked as an advertising copywriter, writing things like Chinese beer commercials. Took two Miss Maryland and two Miss Virginia beauty queens singing and dancing at Veterans' hospitals for the USO. Was an extra in the 1940s-set mini-series, War & Remembrance. I also put a mic on Jimmy Carter's son for a TV interview and was almost wrestled to the ground by the secret service because I started to pull up his shirt to hide the mic cord.”—Marcia James
“I had a paper route while in nursing school. My husband planted Venus Flytrap seedlings to sell!"—Jessica Lee

“I once participated in a study of productivity - typing while walking on a treadmill. It was done in some guy's basement in Maryland and I took my then boyfriend/now hubby with me. I think I earned maybe $40 but it's been 30 years! I was tasked to type ‘War and Peace’ as I recall, tho not the whole thing thankfully! I did see years later a mention of the results of the study in a magazine article, so it was at least legit.”—Betty Bolte

Are you laughing yet?? LOL! I learned a LOT about authors I admire!! One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was from my father. “Make sure you do something you love waking up to in the morning.” I spent so many years in a field I hated that being able to write for a living is a blessing—a rich blessing. So no matter what the economy says or those dirty pirates do—may your hard drives catch the equivalent of a computer STD!!—we have the best jobs in the world!! Hey, from the stories above, we really do!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Got My Battle Face On

Okay, that was my bow to my promo-whorish ways. Now back to my post…

Friday I finished the book I have been working on forever!!

Sooo maybe it’s not forever…but it seemed like it! LOL! Yes, I’m whining, and I know there’s someone somewhere reading this going, shut up, bitch! You finished it, what’s your problem?? Snicker.

Nico WarriorWell, there is a huge, epic battle scene that takes place at the end of the book—think Lord of the Rings epic—and it took me three days to write! Correct that. Three daaaaaaays to write. This was my first time writing a scene of this size with a bunch of people and, for the life of me, I could not find my Muse. That wench was playing loosey-goosey with my inspiration and I was stuck!

My solution? I started YouTube-ing every battle scene I could think of. 300. Highlander. Return of the King. The Two Towers. I did a search for every fight clip I could find, and you know what? It worked! Oh wow, did it work! I nailed it! I’m sure once my critique partners have a go at it, the chapter will look like it’s bathed in blood but…I finished it!

So I’m sharing my inspiration with you. And I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

And please, check out the trailer for my upcoming release with Ellora’s Cave, Under His Wings!

300 battle scene that kicks butt!! Oh and did you see Leonidas’ thighs???
This made me want to charge down that hill myself, asthma and all! Of course I would’ve had to stop about halfway, but…
Movie—or two hour long music video—umm, sucked but loved the fight scenes…up until everyone started dying…Oops! Spoiler! My bad!
Aaaaannndd… Book Trailer for Under His Wings!!